Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You

I just completed reading this book! I cannot tell you how much this has changed my life, my outlook, my feelings and even lead me into faith. I did not know who God even was until I started to really read in this book and referencing the Bible. For such a long time I didn't feel seen, heard or even cared about. This book helped open all those doors and I started my path to healing. I have recommended it to every member of my blood family (I hope they read it) and I bought both the book and workbook for my boyfriend. ❤️ I feel like I can finally grow into an adult and recognize the talents and path I am supposed to be on. 10/10. Have and will continue to recommend. Thank you so much for this book. 💗

I second Josh McDowell's comment on the cover that this book has changed my life more than any other besides the Bible. I am now reading through it a second time with my family. I wish I had read this book twenty years ago.

It has sections that discuss the balance of grace and truth, bonding, boundaries, good and bad, and being a mature adult. It has been used by the Lord to bring true freedom in my life, in which I am pursuing God out of love, not compulsion. There is much truth presented, but it is presented in love and brings hope.

I have a notebook with things I am learning from 'Changes that Heal' from which comes the following: It confirmed my need for genuine relationships with other people - which I knew at some level before, but understand more fully now. It helped me identify healthy relationships and those which are not. Knowing what we are responsible for and what we are not is also very freeing. I feel empowered to be who I am without apology but also to recognize my weaknesses (without shame) and how to get better. I am still processing how we tend to separate good and bad in us and others and how that affects us, which has been key for me. 'Changes that Heal' also helped me see how adult relationships are intended to work and how feeling 'one up' or 'one down' to other adults (including parents and adult children) affects our relationships. It helped me understand the stages children go through and appreciate why teen years can be very difficult and their striving for independence. Dr Cloud also discusses in each section what happens when things go wrong, giving real examples of people affected and how they got better.

I have purchased 10 copies of this book for friends and recommend it without reservation.

Dr. Henry Cloud in his introduction, explains that he did not set out to write this book. Rather it was an extension of his ministry and the encouragement of many who benefited from the ministry and wished that he would expand its scope.

Most revealing in the introduction into this material is the observation that within Christianity is a broad section which seems to espouse the idea that Christians who suffer from issues such as depression, relationship deficiencies, sexual dysfunction etc are somehow in sin and to blame for their issues simply because they have not laid claim to the healing available to them in Christ.

This viewpoint is not all that different than those in the past who have applied the same reasoning to those who are physically ill with issues like cancer, diabetes etc and have failed to lay hold of the same healing that is promised to varying degrees. Great damage came from this form of absolute intolerant thinking. Equal and perhaps greater harm comes from the application of this same erroneous thinking to the softer field of human emotions and thought processes.

While the latter form of absolute thinking has diminished and more grace and understanding have been extended within all but the most extreme factions within the Church, unfortunately this same attitude prevails far too often within the mainstream of the Church for reasons that this reviewer can only attribute to the fact that these issues are less visible and that many who espouse them do so from ignorance and the discomfort that these situations can bring.

Dr. Cloud's book does an outstanding job of explaining the causative roots of many of these issues to where those who suffer from them as well as those who have difficulty accepting or understanding them can benefit greatly without having to reject or discount the truths of Christianity.

Addressing the issue progressively with an explanation of how psychological growth can get out of sync with physical growth and then specifically addressing the issues of bonding, separating, developing values and then maturing, gives footholds to understanding that help the individual identify where they need to work and the Church as a whole know how to provide the understanding and support that draws the Church into a loving and accepting community rather than a judgemental and exclusive society of only those who are without problems.

Far too often the fruits of the field of psychology are rejected by the community of faith. Dr. Cloud does an outstanding job of bringing the two together in a manner that promotes understanding and growth without watering down the importance of spirituality.

Appropriate for those seeking help as well as those who seek to better understand how to extend it.

Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud is an excellent resource helping readers do four things that, if left undone, can leave adults feeling stuck for years, never reaching mature adulthood. Cloud argues that adults most bond with others, separate from others, sort out issues of good and bad, and take charge as an adult. With Scriptural references, physiological research and helpful stories, Cloud guides his readers towards growth.

Through reading Dr. Cloud's well-written book, I've been able to understand that I'm responsible for "owning" what's mine (emotions, thoughts, actions, reactions, etc.). For example, I'm responsible for my happiness and for my reactions to the way others treat me. It also has shown me that I'm not responsible for what others "own"; my actions may cause someone's upset, but that upset is not my responsibility - it's theirs. It seems totally elemental - and it probably is to people who aren't carrying around injuries from their past. But if you come from a past that includes abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, mental, verbal, sexual, abandonment, neglect, etc.) it's harder to know where to draw the lines.

Dr. Cloud's book clearly explains the importance of ownership, bonding and boundaries (both creating your own and respecting other's). There are examples that are relatable and the language is clear, concise and "plain English" - not a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo.

I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to live a life free of emotional and verbal clutter and unnecessary baggage. The Bible tells us in Matthew 5:37 to let our yes mean yes, and our no mean no - Dr. Cloud's book helped me to understand more clearly what this means.