It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

"It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle" by Mark Wolynn is a groundbreaking exploration of the impact of inherited family trauma on our personal lives and behaviors. Wolynn, a leading expert in the field, delves into the complex interplay between genetics, emotional health, and family history, revealing how trauma can be transferred across generations. Through the use of compelling case studies and accessible psychological insights, the book offers a compelling argument for the profound influence of familial past on our present and future selves.

One of Wolynn's most significant contributions is his development of a methodology to uncover and address inherited trauma. He presents practical tools and techniques that readers can use to trace the roots of their emotional issues back to unresolved traumas in their family histories. This approach not only broadens the understanding of personal and psychological issues but also provides a clear and actionable path towards healing and breaking the cycle of suffering.

The book is highly accessible, aimed not only at professionals in the fields of psychology and psychiatry but also at anyone interested in understanding the deeper determinants of their behavior and emotional well-being. It's thought-provoking and potentially transformative, challenging readers to reconsider the origins of their issues and empowering them with the knowledge to enact change.

While some may find the concept of inherited trauma difficult to grasp or even controversial, Wolynn supports his claims with a rich blend of scientific research, clinical experience, and narrative. "It Didn't Start with You" stands out as a compassionate guide towards understanding and overcoming the burdens we carry from our ancestors, encouraging a journey of self-discovery and healing. It's a must-read for anyone looking to explore the hidden dimensions of their family history and its impact on their life.

This book was so beautifully written, It helped me go through some tough times when I needed just some space to myself. It helps you as a person understand others' lives and mindsets to help you get through whatever you are going through. This is also a great read for others who just want a better understanding of trauma in friends, significant other, or whoever life.

I read this book after finding it in the back of another book. I soon realized why I don't call my mom. I am not connected to her and after reading this book I can now see why and how to work through it. I loved this book so much; I bought 10 copies to give away. I suggest anyone read this book as it will help identify why you are who you are and how to move forward in your life.

This book is starting off very good my only con would be that when these Arthur’s began to bring historic stats about how genetics effects us but it just seems to me that the black American slave trade never seems to be included or depicted upon smh not just this Arthur but in general that’s is apart of American history. I just started the book but hopefully he mentions that since stats about the holocaust, native Americans and the wtc is there I would’ve appreciated a stat to show how the genetics from the trama of slavery would effect generations afterwards !

This book is an important one that I'm glad that the author took the time and effort to write. However, since it falls under the "self help" genre, I feel its also important to make some distinctions about the audience this book best serves. Like another reviewer who wrote "avoid if you've overcome a toxic family", I think this book does not serve them well or anyone who was abused or severely neglected by primary caregivers, at least not initially in their healing process (and maybe not at all). I think a point not emphasized enough in the book is that the author himself spent 2 years on a spiritual journey BEFORE coming to the realization that emotional disconnectedness with his family was at the root of his own health problems (in other words, he did a lot of self-healing before attempting to connect with his parents). It makes perfect sense for him that re-establishing the emotional connection with his parents would be the logical solution to his own healing. Assuming his story is accurate about how his family was merely emotionally disconnected due to a mother stuck in grief and a father who suffered from low self esteem and there was not much in the way of emotional, verbal or physical abuse, this a perfect and beautiful situation in which re-establishment of emotional connection is the answer. However, in the case of abused and traumatized children by their caregivers, this is generally NOT the answer, and especially NOT the first step in the healing process. Abused and traumatized children have serious boundary issues, self-worth issues, difficulty forming healthy relationships, etc., that need to be dealt with first and foremost before attempting to restore relations with very unhealthy and toxic people who perpetrated the abuse. The caregivers are in fact the cause of the trauma and the issues and it is not simply a case of emotional disconnectedness with them. In other words, how can you emotionally connect with a person who is so emotionally shut down and disconnected that they abused their own children? It might be possible in some cases, but it is going to take a lot of energy and effort on the part of the abused child (now an adult) to make it happen and they may even put themselves in danger by doing so. Plus this type of therapy can place an intense internal conflict on the abused child to "make right" what the parents did wrong to them by trying to reconnect with them. I think that's where this type of therapy can do some psychological damage if the facilitator/therapist is not careful. If there is a way to utilize this type of therapy with abused children, this book did not cover it, at least not in much depth and did not recommend resources for people who come from those types of families and situations. I hope that will be rectified in a new edition or perhaps another book.