The Year of Magical Thinking: National Book Award Winner

I stayed up almost all might just to finish reading it, unable to put this down, although I confess I had to keep a box of tissues nearby. I've lost 5 people in the last few years and, just recently, another friend and so I related very strongly to this book.

Didion's unflinching account of the sudden loss of her husband (which occurred while their only child was in a coma in a hospital (!)) deserves to be a classic in the genre of books written by and for those who are grieving. It is hard to find books like this, which are both honest but not overly sentimental, not resorting to the tropes which seem to surround death. She doesn't offer vague platitudes or advice. She simply relates her very personal experience, including the inevitable vulnerability, unexpected moments of being blindsided by memories and sudden tears, etc.

She covers all the bases, including the kind of insanity that can seize one in the throes of grief, those moments when you forget the person is actually dead, when you turn to speak to him or her as you normally would at a certain part of the day or reach for the phone to share the latest news.

The book is raw. If you're looking for religous or spiritual guidance and inspiration, this is not the book for you. As Didion herself noted, writing about the book recently, it was intentionally written "raw". I assume she didn't want to wait, to distance herself from the intensity of the experience as she wrote it down, quite unlike many other books she has written. Raw or not, it wasn't sloppy, overly sentimental or complete despairing.

It was simply honest, heartwrenchingly so, and Didion doesn't deviate from communicating, in absolute striking detail, the sense of alienation and disorientation that separates mourners from those who seem to be living "normal" lives. Grief is its own territory, separate from so-called normalcy. In so many ways, it is an illness, an affliction of the spirit and not one that can be cured in any one way.

An aside- the photo of Didion inside the dustjacket is haunting. No question that those are the eyes of someone who has been scraped to the core, wounded and, presumably, still recovering. There is something beautiful in that portrait and, oddly, comforting. It is the face of a survivor, however hard it might be to live as one.

This book will remain on my bookshelf and I expect I'll be thumbing through it for solace time and again. Reading it was both painful and cathartic and strangely comforting, with an intensity that left me awestruck. I am still amazed that she was able to produce such a beautifully written book in the throes of so much pain.

In an extraordinary exposition, Ms. Didion describes her experiences during the year after her husband's untimely demise. The book is a wonderfully clear and adept elucidation of her feelings and thoughts during this period. The wonder of her ability to clarify this period in her mind enough to write about it is the mark of an extraordinary author.

Her story starts just before the death of her husband and his death from a myocardial infarction is described in detail. In addition, at the same time that her husband is dying/died, her daughter is in the hospital with an incredibly life threatening illness. The juxtaposition of the tale of her daughter's medical travails and her thoughts on her husband's death make the tale ever so much more poignant.

She covers a very large amount of ground in the grief and bereavement period. Her thoughts about what her husband last said, and of what she thought about in her past life with a man she was married to for 40 years; and her thoughts as she tries to recover from the lose of a life long partner are described with tenderness and beauty.

Most interesting are the comments on "self-pity" that she makes. She quotes D.H. Lawrence's famous 4 line poem:

"I never saw a wild thing

sorry for itself,

A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough

without ever having felt sorry for itself."

In this description of self-pity, she belies Lawrence's contention. But not completely, as she comments on self-pity as a state one wants to hang onto, while at the same time realizing how pathetic the state. But she resolves to bring herself back to the point of normalcy; of being a regular person to the extent at least that she can interact normally with others.

While her thinking does not in any way really seem "Magical" it does seem revealing. While her particular story of grief and recovery is very personal, it is also very indicative of what people feel in her situation. It is said that nothing is more severe than losing a spouse. Ms. Didion buttresses this contention with her book. Nothing quite disorients a person as much as the death of the one whom one has shared their life with, the most intimate moments of that life. The book is highly recommended to all people. It is a learning experience for those who have not experienced it, and it is a reiteration for those who have, but with a certain clarity that is not usual for people to develop.