The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

This is an idealistic read. Period. It would be a challenge for any real relationship to meet the goals that Deida sets out but it's good he wrote them anyway so we can all challenge ourselves to aspire to them.

It's not about men and women but it can be applied to any relationship when there is a polarity of masculine and feminine. I happen to be a woman who wants a "superior man" so I'd recommend any women who want one of those to read it anyway even though the author directs everything he's saying to men. The chapters are short but have bite to them, so you might have to take a break to really ponder some of Deida's opinions as you go.

Some women may criticize this book as being misogynistic because it does place the man in a superior light. However, the book doesn't put down women in any sort of way. Deida only puts men in a superior light by saying that if a woman is upset, he has the power to relieve her stress by giving her love and supporting her, rather than closing off emotionally. He isn't really talking about overpowering her and dominating her like she's nothing, he's talking about ravishing her and making sure she feels wanted and needed when she's unhappy.

Deida is talking about masculine power from a different perspective than we're used to hearing. In fact, he doesn't even really limit masculine power to males. He clearly states that a healthy relationship has polarities, so a woman could be masculine and the man could be feminine, as long as both roles and powers are understood. He also praises feminine power, basically saying it's an ocean of love and belonging that is worth worshipping.

So, overall, this is a great read. He does talk about sex a lot but there's a deeper meaning to what he's saying. It's really about how to open up so that you can properly cherish the natural polarities in a relationship. Rather than closing of yourself emotionally whenever a fight happens.

I thought this book was simply beautiful in the way it seeks to help men find their one true purpose, their raison d'etre, and to follow it until their dying breath, and to find it in every moment along the way. It warmed me to read these lessons, to know that I as a woman am not so far afield when I yearn for a certain kind of man to come my way. It's this kind of man. The kind of man who lives this book.

I will say, however, that while Mr. Deida certainly knows the mind and spirit of a man, he is not quite similarly gifted when it comes to the mind, spirit, and heart of a woman. In his book, the men stand alone--the man and his mission, that is. Women are the illogical, wild, constantly testing emotional children men must confront and "put in their place," which is what apparently we all want. Well......not quite, David. I have a mission of my own that does not revolve around you. I have a spirit of my own, which does not exist solely to be "penetrated" by you. Yes, I'm emotional, got me there, and I believe life is meaningless without love, but I'm not quite the crazy woman in your book. I'm not looking to you to make every decision, either, even if I do want you to lead. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and that doesn't make me masculine to say so, either! Despite his lack of deeper understanding of women [which is okay, I wouldn't expect him to know these things, it's not really his subject], I loved this book and what it says to men. I unabashedly recommend it.

I won't write too much because many people have tackled the important points of this book. I'll say that I almost decided not to purchase this book because of the reviews that people had written. So many people have thrown out the big bad "M" word (misogynist who hooo hooo) to describe this book. One thing that's telling about the value of this book is the number of women who have written reviews and said things like "we wish men knew about this or could understand these things". The Way of the Superior Man is one of the books to have for any man who wants to become true to himself and solid inside and out. There are so many guys walking around like Elvin Tibideaux (remember Sandra's husband from the Cosby show?), ie. they're "too" nice guys as we've been conditioned to be like through movies and film. What Deida does in this book is to try to show men how to be respectable (and self-respecting) gentleman; men who can give their gift and talents to the world as well as embrace the woman in their lives with security and strength. I'd highly recommend reading this, but only for those who are 1.) willing to read cover to cover and 2.) reading to gain some information/learn, not for the sake of just finding points to argue with. And when I say I recommend reading this, I mean this for both men and women. Also, I wish the women who have read this and liked it would be more open about their views of the qualities mentioned in this book. In this day and age, many men are confused about how to be better men worthy of better women. They've been told to be "nice" guys, but then always end up being the nice guy who's only good as a friend and not relationship worthy. Men need to hear from women what women really want, not what has been told to use from movies and shows.

Way of the Superior Man is one of the best books I have ever read and is a life changing book. I know a lot about men and women (I am a woman) however David's book blew me away and revealed truths to me of what I want and need in a man to be happy with him. It further revealed to me about my behavior that I didn't understand that was so positive for that kind of a man and benefits him. It's a book to read slowly and process. Deida gives much to ponder, reflect on your own life, and then discover, "Oh my God, he's right". I do recommend this book to every man and woman I talk to. It will benefit everyone. I believe it will benefit you even if you don't intend to be a superior man or be with one.It is especially illuminating in our age of gender equality, and that we need to know how that negatively affects our male female relationships. He clearly shows how to solve that without giving up gender equality in life in general. David Deida is a Master!!!

Before I go too much into this review below, I'd like to clarify a few things about myself. I'm a married man, 24 years old, with a good career. I generally consider myself a happy guy, although, I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and my marriage (who isn't?).

I'm also a computer programmer (professionally, and for fun), and wouldn't consider myself an artistic, abstract, or religious type of person. Quite the opposite, actually. If anything, I'm a very logical, scientific, and straightforward person.

With all that said, this was an excellent book. This was the first relationship book I've ever read, and ended up buying it because a friend referred it to me as a must-read book that will give you superpowers in your relationship. I was very skeptical, but figured I'd give it a read anyhow.

Now, onto the review!

This book discusses a series of rules and guidelines that masculine people should follow. While this book is not written exclusively for men (straight, gay, or otherwise)--it is written specifically for masculine people. If you're a feminine person, this book is not for you. This book is specifically written as a guide for masculine people to follow, which explains a lot about masculinity, feminism, and how following certain guidelines will help you live your life to a fuller extent, and subsequently, increase the quality of your personal relationships.

Some of the topics covered in the book are:

• What are traits of masculine and feminine people?
• Which category do you fall into? (masculine, feminine, neutral)
• Which sort of partner will you get along with best? (If you're a masculine man, you'll likely get along well with a feminine girl.)
• Which things must you prioritize in your life to feel fully content? (hint: it's not your relationship, although your relationship is important)
• How can you avoid and resolve relationship issues with your partner?
• Ways in which you can improve the quality of your relationship.
• How to 'let go' of societal stereotypes about the genders, and live the way your genetics tell you.

More than anything, this is a book about living a full, purposeful, and happy life with your partner. This book examines the roles that men and women play in relationships, and really analyzes the root causes of what drives both sexes. In then offers advice to maximize your enjoyment and success along the way.

The book is broken up into a series of short chapters, each no more than a page or two in length. Each chapter discusses a guideline, and explains what the guideline means, how it works, and how to put it into practice.

Overall, I'd say this was a great book. While it did seem very 'preachy' at some points, the content of the book was excellent, and has really helped me understand some of my own faults and idiosyncrasies, and has given me great advice to follow through on. Furthermore, this book has really helped me to 'understand' my wife better. It gave me useful insight to see through the root of problems, arguments, and other things--and has actually helped me out quite a bit in a very short amount of time.

Even if you're not interested in relationship books at all (like me), this book is definitely worth a read as it is more of a manual to understanding yourself and your relationships, and will serve you well.

I will not be able to do the book justice in a short review and it has been over a month since I read it, but I'll give the highlights that stand out in my memory. Deida is looking at male female relationships from an archetypal perspective and is asking "The Superior Man" to respond to his woman as if he is the Male archetype as exemplified by Shiva- a tall order for the average shmoe. He says that in a polarized male/female relationship, the female archetype will constantly challenge the male to demonstrate his masculine power. He can do this primarily by moving toward the female challenge with love, rather than backing off with defensiveness. I think this is important, but very difficult to do when the male is operating from his (vulnerable) ego. The examples he gives of the man moving towards the female with love when challenged and tested ring true as a winning strategy. Nonetheless it requires what seems to me to be almost superhuman consciousness at all times to pull off, hence some of the negative reactions to what he is saying.

The first few chapters of the book about a man's purpose were less interesting to me, but tie in to his later thesis about how a man should relate to the female, or his woman in particular.

This is certainly the deepest treatment of how men should relate to women that I have read. It is controversial because it goes against what most of us have been taught in the past few decades of the feminist period, which seems to have undermined the power and self concept of men who have conformed to this new politically correct model of male female relations.

I definitely recommend this book as a mind expanding exercise in reclaiming a man's power. Repeated readings would be needed to firmly integrate the teachings.

Deida gives a perspective on masculinity, and mascuine-feminine relations that I've never seen or heard anywhere else. I'm not buying everything he's selling, and think he sometime panders a bit much to the ladies, who are after all the main consumers of this kind of stuff (and yes, I was introduced to his writings and videos by a woman), but he clearly wrote this book for men, with a minimum of new-agey airy-fairy claptrap, and a lot of direct, straightforward, in-your-face discussion of how things tend to be with men and women; that makes a helluva lot of sense, and will probably jibe with your life experiences too.

I also very much appreciate that this book is written in short, bite-sized chapters that are quick and to the point, which makes it convenient for a busy working man, who doesn't have hours and days to fill, to sit down and derive nourishment in those short periods of time at home when his woman is quiet enough for him to read ;-). His lectures, for lack of a better word, are thought provoking and inspiring, and a worthwhile call to introspection, positive attitude adjustment, and manly self-improvement. Very good stuff.