What to Expect the First Year: (Updated in 2024)

INTRODUCTION

A Very Different First Year

You know all that stuff they say about becoming a grandmother? How amazing it is . . . how much you’ll love it . . . how it’s all the best parts of being a parent—without the sleep deprivation?

Well, they don’t tell you the half it. Becoming a grandmother, as I did on February 12, 2013, when Lennox entered the world, and minutes later, my welcoming arms, was life-changing, mind-blowing, heart-swelling . . . thrilling to the core. The heavens opened up. The earth moved. The love that washed over me as I held that sweet bundle for the first time was instantaneous, it was intense, it was unabashed . . . it hit me like a ton of bricks, and practically knocked me off my feet. I was smitten.

And I knew just how to hold him.

Rewind 29 years earlier, and the picture was a little different. Babies, as they say, don’t come with instructions (and P.S. . . . I hadn’t written the instructions yet either, so I couldn’t very well follow them). Clueless? That would be giving me far too much crib cred. I was hopelessly clueless. Didn’t know how to hold Emma. Didn’t know how to feed her. To diaper her. To rock her or burp her or calm her or even talk to her. I knew that I loved her, but I was pretty sure this squalling red stranger sniffing at my breast didn’t feel the same about me. And who could blame her? Yes, I’d carried her and nurtured her before delivery with ease—even the delivery had been pretty much a piece of cake (if you didn’t count those 3½ hours of pushing). But now what? I fumbled as I tried to support her wobbly head, jam floppy arms through the sleeves of her t-shirt, guide my nipple into her unwilling mouth. Maternal instincts, I prayed, don’t fail me now (they did).

My crumbling of confidence followed me home. Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Two new parents walk into an apartment with a crying baby . . . and suddenly realize that not only is this crying baby theirs—but that she’s their full-time responsibility. Cue . . . my crying. Fortunately, Erik’s instincts kicked in quicker than mine did, and between his cool head and uncanny natural ability and my frantic flipping through my mother’s tattered copy of Dr. Spock, we managed to find our way, one diaper blowout, one botched bath, one sleepless night, one colicky afternoon at a time.

So what did I do next? I did what any young, naive and clueless mom would do—motherhood being the mother of invention, I decided to write a book. A book that would help other parents steer through that first year with more confidence, more knowledge, more joy, less stress: What to Expect the First Year (though first, of course, I wrote a book on pregnancy, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, that did the same for parents-to-be). I didn’t write about my experience—which, let’s be real, wasn’t anything to write home about, never mind publish—but I wrote with experience. I’d been there, I’d done that, and I’d lived to write about it—that is, after I learned, through research and more research, everything that there was to know about it. And when it came to the first year the second time around (in the form of a baby boy named Wyatt), I had a book to turn to, and also—some mom cred to fall back on. Knowledge and know-how—a powerful parenting punch.

The moral of the story? While today’s parents definitely have the information edge when it comes to what to expect the first year of their baby’s life (there’s not only a book now, but a website and an app for that, and Emma was lucky to have access to all three), tiny babies still bring huge challenges, especially for newbie moms and dads. And even with an ever-expanding array of resources, new parents still do much of their learning on the job, in the trenches . . . much as Erik and I did three decades ago.

Still, the more you know, well, the less you have to learn. Which is where this third edition of What to Expect the First Year comes in—a brand new baby-care guide for a brand new generation of new parents.

What’s new in the new First Year? It’s easier to use, making flipping to need-to-know info (yes, even frantic flipping) faster than ever. It’s just as empathetic and reassuring as ever (because we all need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, a parental pep talk when the going gets tough), but even more fun to read (because we all need a good laugh, too). It covers both the timeless baby basics (diaper changing 101) and the baby trends (all-in-one cloth diapers). There’s much more on making breastfeeding work (including how to take it back to work), baby classes and technology (iBaby?), and buying for baby (so you can navigate that dizzying selection of nursery products vying for your consideration . . . and your credit card). There’s a whole new developmental timeline to keep track of baby’s milestones, practical new tips for new parents (including stay-at-home dads), and an expanded chapter for parents of preemies (with a glossary of medical terms and acronyms you’ll hear tossed around the NICU). A monthly at-a-glance look at feeding, sleeping, and playing. New strategies for feeding your baby well and getting your baby to sleep, as well as boosting baby’s brain power (without ever cracking a curriculum). And of course, the most up-to-date information available on your baby’s health (from the latest on vaccines and vitamins to the lowdown on baby CAM therapies, probiotics, and homeopathics) and safety (choosing and using the safest products, first aid for every emergency).

I wrote the first edition of What to Expect the First Year with Emma’s first year just barely finished—the experience still so fresh I could easily summon up that sweet new-baby smell (not to mention a whole lot of other new-baby smells, not so sweet). I wrote the third edition during Lennox’s first year—with his sweet smell just five minutes away, inspiring me, refreshing my memories, and providing not only a mountain of new material (from feeding struggles to GERD to an umbilical site infection that landed him in the hospital) but a plethora of new perspectives.

All that, and a new cover, too, thanks to Lennox, our new cover baby. He’s the baby of the baby who started it all—and one of my proudest joys yet.

And, I know just how to hold him.