Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (Random House Large Print)Paperback

This book might best be described as ‘The Encyclopedia of Emotions.’ It covers (pretty much) all the emotions we might feel in our lives, including the ones that make us feel good, like joy and wonder, and the ones that make us feel bad, like shame and envy. We are all human, and therefore susceptible to feeling any and all emotions on a daily basis, and it is therefore paramount for our personal growth to understand our feelings.

What is the purpose of Brown’s toil in these expansive emotional fields? The desire to help people better connect with one another. (After all, what is life without other people to experience it with?) She defines connection as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued, when they can give and receive without judgment, and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” We are all emotional creatures, and being able to communicate our thoughts and feelings to one another is what strengthens our social bonds.

Brown helps us achieve emotional understanding via her focus on language. “Language does more than just communicate emotion, it can actually shape what we’re feeling,” she writes. “When we don’t understand how our emotions shape our thoughts and decisions, we become disembodied from our own experiences and disconnected from each other.” Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all work together, and a large part of their connection is our own understanding of their relationship inside of us. This understanding hinges on our ability to properly label our emotions—the central theme of Brown’s work.

Developing this social communication starts with our own self-communication because if I don’t know and understand who I am and what I need, want, and believe, I can’t share myself with you. “I need to be connected to myself, in my own body, and learning what makes me work” in order to develop the grounded confidence I need to move through the world and cultivate meaningful connections with others. This is one of the oldest philosophical maxims—the words “Know Thyself” having been found inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in the Ancient Greek precinct of Delphi.

In this emotional encyclopedia, I found some definitions for emotions surprising and thought-provoking. For example, Brown describes shame as the birthplace of perfectionism. Healthy striving is internally driven, she correctly observes, meanwhile perfectionism is “externally driven by a simple but potentially all-consuming question: What will people think?” For another example, she defines narcissism as “the shame-based fear of being ordinary.” This really gave me much to think about: When we fear that society will judge us improperly (or negatively), we might attempt to control the narrative ourselves, which can often lead to narcissistic behavior. Fear and shame dictate many of our behaviors, a sentiment I plan to try and observe within myself going forward.

With over eighty different emotions defined and discussed in this tome, it is designed to be revisited whenever we need a refresher. This book can help us put words to feelings, aiding us in understanding both ourselves and others. As it says on the cover, Brown’s work is designed to help us understand the language of human experience and use these tools to further develop meaningful connections. It is a wonderful guide to the emotional world and an excellent almanac for increasing our emotional intelligence.