Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

by

Henry Cloud

(Author)

4.7

-

23,877 ratings


Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even themselves—in order to live life to the fullest.

  • Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control?
  • Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits?
  • Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems?

In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend share the lessons they've learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear biblical boundaries. You'll learn the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.

This updated and expanded edition of Boundaries, answers the most common questions on the science behind establishing boundaries:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

Discover the countless ways that Boundaries can change your life for the better today!

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ISBN-10

0310351804

ISBN-13

978-0310351801

Print length

352 pages

Language

English

Publisher

Zondervan

Publication date

October 02, 2017

Dimensions

5.45 x 1 x 8.4 inches

Item weight

11.2 ounces


Popular highlights in this book

  • What we can do is set limits on our own exposure to people who are behaving poorly; we can’t change them or make them behave right.

    Highlighted by 15,994 Kindle readers

  • your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to.

    Highlighted by 15,776 Kindle readers

  • Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning.

    Highlighted by 11,481 Kindle readers

  • Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries.

    Highlighted by 8,475 Kindle readers



Editorial reviews

Amazon.com Review

In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. --Gail Hudson

Review

Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live. -- Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life.Church and NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author

Now updated and expanded, this classic book is more timely and relevant than ever for today’s “always on, always there” culture. If technology and social media are intruding on your life and relationships, learn from the boundaries experts how to protect yourself and the people you love. This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ. -- Andy Stanley, pastor, author, communicator, and Founder of North Point Ministries

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is truly an “in case of (relational) fire---remove hammer, break glass” kind of book. If you need the pain to stop and the healing to start, read this life-changing book and follow its instruction to freedom. -- Dr. James MacDonald, senior pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel and author of VERTICAL CHURCH and ACT LIKE MEN. JamesMacDonald.org

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend continue to break the boundaries of incredible revelation in their new and revised edition of Boundaries. As the senior pastor of a large church, this message has not only changed my life, but the lives of my staff and congregation. If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, you need to read this book! -- Robert Morris, Founding Senior Pastor, Gateway Church, Dallas/ Fort Worth, Texas; bestselling author of THE BLESSED LIFE , THE GOD I NEVER KNEW, TRULY FREE , and FREQUENCY

I’ve been recommending Boundaries to friends, team members and radio listeners for more than twenty years. In fact, hardly a day goes by when I don’t use something that I learned from this book. The principles are timeless, and the updates in this version make Boundaries even more relevant to readers and their relationships. -- Dave Ramsey, bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio show host

Review

'Boundaries define everything from football fields to nation-states, yet our culture has pretended it could violate boundaries in human relationships without serious consequences. Cloud and Townsend examine the damage caused by this flawed view and point the way back.' -- Cal Thomas, Author

'Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great insights and practical wisdom into the God-given gift of boundaries. As they discuss how to take responsibility for and ownership of our lives, they give hope that we cannot just survive -- but thrive!' -- Josh McDowell, Author

'This book is going to provide a doorway of understanding and freedom for those of us who have allowed ourselves to be buried in the inability to say no. Thank you once again, Henry and John, for helping us toward freedom.' -- Rich Buhler, Author

'In this insightful and extremely helpful book, you will learn about a simple concept that can change your life: healthy boundaries. It's the ability to mark off your life in such a way that you multiply your love for others and minimize the problems you face. And it's waiting for you when you open this book I highly recommend.' -- John Trent, PhD, President

'I've heard a myriad of sermons on Christian servanthood that never discussed the value of saying 'NO!' in order to confront in love or to provide space to recharge the batteries. 'Boundaries' is the 'Untold Story' -- the other side of love and servanthood that we need so desperately but that we hear so little about.' -- Howard G. Hendricks, Chairman

From the Publisher

Since its release in 1992, Boundaries--the definitive book on healthy human relations by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend--has consistently appeared on the best-seller lists. And now its counterpart, the Boundaries video curriculum, has undergone a literal transformation. With its brand new, group-interactive format and components, the Boundaries curriculum gives pastors, counselors, churches, and organizations an enormously effective tool to help people move from desperation to sound relationships and joyous, fruitful living. Everything about this revised Boundaries is new. NEW easy-to-use Leader's Guide that minimizes preparation time. NEW Participant's Guide based on the original Boundaries textbook and workbook. NEW proven, group-interactive format designed to enhance individual participation and group synergy. NEW 120-minute video containing a brief message from Drs. Cloud and Townsend to group leaders, discussion jump-starts by the authors, and vignettes dramatizing topics covered in the nine different sessions. Designed for groups large or small, the Boundaries kit also includes a copy of the best-selling, Gold-Medallion-Award-winning book, Boundaries. This dynamic curriculum will generate maximum interest among church and small-group leaders. The principles and applications covered will make a real difference in relationships of every kind, from marriage, to family, to church, to the workplace, and beyond.

The Boundaries video kit includes: 1 90-minute video (not sold separately) 1 Boundaries Leader's Guide (additional copies sold separately) 1 Boundaries Participant's Guide (additional copies sold separately) 1 copy Boundaries hardcover book (additional copies sold separately) 1 clamshell-style carrying case

From the Back Cover

Is your life out of control? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Are you disappointed with God because of unanswered prayers? Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries helps us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances. Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions. Emotional boundaries help us deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others. Spiritual boundaries help us distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer Biblically based answers to tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

About the Author

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (www.cloudtownsend.com) are popular speakers, psychologists, cohosts of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and cofounders of Cloud-Townsend Resources. Both maintain practices in Southern California. They are bestselling coauthors of a number of books, including Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries in Dating, Boundaries with Kids, The Mom Factor, and Safe People. Dr Cloud is the author of Changes That Heal and How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. Dr. Townsend is the author of Hiding from Love and Boundaries with Teens.

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About the authors

Henry Cloud

Henry Cloud

Dr. Cloud is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and his books have sold nearly 20 million copies. His leadership book, Integrity, was dubbed by the New York Times as "the best book in the bunch." In 2011, Necessary Endings was called "the most important book you read all year." His book "Boundaries For Leaders" was named by CEO Reads in the top five leadership books of its year. Dr. Cloud's work has been featured and reviewed by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher's Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named Dr. Cloud in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brene Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets.

In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with CEOs, Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses alike. He has an extensive executive coaching background, and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams and executives to improving performance, leadership skills, and culture. He also has a specialty in high net worth family offices.

His experience includes three decades as a consultant, and as an entrepreneur he started and grew a successful chain of treatment centers in over 40 cities across the western United States. His experience running a business of this magnitude lends credibility to his expertise on leadership matters in the companies with which he works.As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice, Desmond Tutu, President George Bush, Marcus Buckingham, Magic Johnson, Peyton Manning and many others.Dr. Cloud is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, with a B.S. in psychology. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in homelessness in the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. He enjoys golf, scuba diving, boating and fishing.

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Reviews

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5

23,877 global ratings

Timothy Bell

Timothy Bell

5

Excellent Read

Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2024

Verified Purchase

Very heavy on Biblical reference, however the subject matter is very appropriate and accurate! Even if you do not participate actively in a Church, this book offers great insight into setting, maintaining and respecting boundaries!

9 people found this helpful

Shirley

Shirley

5

Everyone Needs This Book

Reviewed in the United States on August 17, 2024

Verified Purchase

I have been privileged to hear both authors speak at conferences and meetings - they are brilliant and compassionate!! This book is one I have recommended to literally dozens of people because we all need healthy boundaries, and this is the definitive book on the subject!!

4 people found this helpful

ErzaScarlet

ErzaScarlet

5

Buy the book its worth it!

Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2024

Verified Purchase

Excellent book! Wish I had this right when my bous turned 18! As a parent its hard to know boundaries when is too much, when is too little etc. Tough love is a tough lesson for the parent as well but it makes you both grow. The important thing is to pray before during and after you read this. Prayer changes everything. Ive grown while reading this book and ask God to open my heart and to reveal the things that I was doing or saying wrong. Yep sometimes as parents it can be us and that is a hard pill to swallow but of you can get over yourself and realize that its not about you but its about helping your child move into adulthood and removing yourself you will be more at peace. May you enjoy your new life as you read this book. Ive read chapter 1-3 over several times thays how impactful it is. The parent where the parents go to the therapist to complain about their son and he tells them…, ha I am not a spoiler buy the book or get kindle unlimited its on there. Be at peace and go live your life parents bc your adults kids are!!

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13 people found this helpful

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