The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

This is an idealistic read. Period. It would be a challenge for any real relationship to meet the goals that Deida sets out but it's good he wrote them anyway so we can all challenge ourselves to aspire to them.

It's not about men and women but it can be applied to any relationship when there is a polarity of masculine and feminine. I happen to be a woman who wants a "superior man" so I'd recommend any women who want one of those to read it anyway even though the author directs everything he's saying to men. The chapters are short but have bite to them, so you might have to take a break to really ponder some of Deida's opinions as you go.

Some women may criticize this book as being misogynistic because it does place the man in a superior light. However, the book doesn't put down women in any sort of way. Deida only puts men in a superior light by saying that if a woman is upset, he has the power to relieve her stress by giving her love and supporting her, rather than closing off emotionally. He isn't really talking about overpowering her and dominating her like she's nothing, he's talking about ravishing her and making sure she feels wanted and needed when she's unhappy.

Deida is talking about masculine power from a different perspective than we're used to hearing. In fact, he doesn't even really limit masculine power to males. He clearly states that a healthy relationship has polarities, so a woman could be masculine and the man could be feminine, as long as both roles and powers are understood. He also praises feminine power, basically saying it's an ocean of love and belonging that is worth worshipping.

So, overall, this is a great read. He does talk about sex a lot but there's a deeper meaning to what he's saying. It's really about how to open up so that you can properly cherish the natural polarities in a relationship. Rather than closing of yourself emotionally whenever a fight happens.

I thought this book was simply beautiful in the way it seeks to help men find their one true purpose, their raison d'etre, and to follow it until their dying breath, and to find it in every moment along the way. It warmed me to read these lessons, to know that I as a woman am not so far afield when I yearn for a certain kind of man to come my way. It's this kind of man. The kind of man who lives this book.

I will say, however, that while Mr. Deida certainly knows the mind and spirit of a man, he is not quite similarly gifted when it comes to the mind, spirit, and heart of a woman. In his book, the men stand alone--the man and his mission, that is. Women are the illogical, wild, constantly testing emotional children men must confront and "put in their place," which is what apparently we all want. Well......not quite, David. I have a mission of my own that does not revolve around you. I have a spirit of my own, which does not exist solely to be "penetrated" by you. Yes, I'm emotional, got me there, and I believe life is meaningless without love, but I'm not quite the crazy woman in your book. I'm not looking to you to make every decision, either, even if I do want you to lead. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and that doesn't make me masculine to say so, either! Despite his lack of deeper understanding of women [which is okay, I wouldn't expect him to know these things, it's not really his subject], I loved this book and what it says to men. I unabashedly recommend it.

I won't write too much because many people have tackled the important points of this book. I'll say that I almost decided not to purchase this book because of the reviews that people had written. So many people have thrown out the big bad "M" word (misogynist who hooo hooo) to describe this book. One thing that's telling about the value of this book is the number of women who have written reviews and said things like "we wish men knew about this or could understand these things". The Way of the Superior Man is one of the books to have for any man who wants to become true to himself and solid inside and out. There are so many guys walking around like Elvin Tibideaux (remember Sandra's husband from the Cosby show?), ie. they're "too" nice guys as we've been conditioned to be like through movies and film. What Deida does in this book is to try to show men how to be respectable (and self-respecting) gentleman; men who can give their gift and talents to the world as well as embrace the woman in their lives with security and strength. I'd highly recommend reading this, but only for those who are 1.) willing to read cover to cover and 2.) reading to gain some information/learn, not for the sake of just finding points to argue with. And when I say I recommend reading this, I mean this for both men and women. Also, I wish the women who have read this and liked it would be more open about their views of the qualities mentioned in this book. In this day and age, many men are confused about how to be better men worthy of better women. They've been told to be "nice" guys, but then always end up being the nice guy who's only good as a friend and not relationship worthy. Men need to hear from women what women really want, not what has been told to use from movies and shows.